It’s Monday, you’re 10 years old, you’ve gotta get up early and go back to school, the worst. But, like I said, it’s Monday, so at least you knew you had something to look forward to. In just a few precious hours, you’re gonna see what Stone Cold was gonna say to The Rock. or what Hogan was gonna do to Nash and Hall, or maybe you’d finally find out who was behind GTV. Every show was a complete and total surprise, you were even still yelling at your sister for trying to tell you it was “fake”. “NO IT’S NOT, LOOK AT THE BLOOD!” Oh, to be young.
But let’s flash back to today and now you know everything. You know who dudes are on the indies, what wrestlers real names are, who’s dating who, who’s leaving, who’s coming back, who’s hurt, and who just pissed hot. All of this information’s constantly at your fingertips. Within minutes of something happening, even at a house show or an autograph signing, it’s posted on a dirt sheet site. It’s the greatest thing ever, but let’s admit, it’s also the worst thing ever.
The reason it’s horrible is because you ruin everything for yourself. You don’t allow yourself to get involved in the story anymore, you don’t allow them to tell it to you. You already know where it’s going, if not because of instinct, it’s because you read on a site that the plan is for X wrestler to drop the belt to Y wrestler, at the next PPV, and now you’re pissed. “WHY WOULD YOU PUT THE STRAP ON HIM?! HE CAN’T WORK!” But when you were 10, you didn’t know what bad was. You didn’t see how horrible those Goldberg matches were, you didn’t know what “selling” was, and you NEVER thought Hogan was too “hokey”. You were just allowing yourself to be taken on the ride.
I miss this, so much. I miss being ignorant to everything. I vividly remember when Jericho debuted in WWE, and I marked out! But then they showed people with Jericho signs, and I was stunned and confused, “How’d they know the countdown was him? How’d they even know it’s gonna expire tonight? What’d I miss?!” As frustrated as I was with being confused, looking back, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
I recently hung out with a girl who’s a big wrestling fan (they’re out there, I swear!), and we were watching Raw, and she would mark out for everything. She didn’t know who was coming back, who was gonna start feuding with who, and where stories were going, she was all smiles…she was actually being entertained, what a concept. I think the true entertainment side of things is something most of us have lost in the last decade or so of online dirt sheets, forums, and twitter.
I write all of this because tonight Undertaker came back at a house show in Texas. This is something I would have never known when I was a kid, and now, when Taker shows up at Raw tomorrow and challenges CM Punk, I’ll just be sitting back in my couch and smirking like every other wannabe “smark” fan. “I knew it.”