The lovely Dixie Carter hands me the book and says “Turn this company around.” I gladly oblige and tell her, “I will give it my best shot, and please would you keep your hands to yourself.”
No this isn’t a dream I once had. This is my top 5 guys that should be fired by TNA…not tomorrow, but today. Now I know this sounds cold blooded as hell. Ultimately I don’t want to see any wrestlers lose a steady pay check, but it is the nature of the beast here. Somebody’s got to go, and these are the dudes, and no I am not gonna cop out and put Hulk Hogan or any combination of Hogan and Hulk on this list, it has been done.
Is anybody more useless then Gunner? Just look at that picture. I applaud the man for sticking with this wrestling shit for so long. Remember when he tried out for Tough Enough 2? But fucking seriously, he has no upside. I will never ever see Gunner with a World Title, if I do I know TNA has officially jumped the shark. His tattoos are possibly the worst in wrestling, and that is saying something. The man is a bland worker, a terrible promo and he needs to be gone. This guy gets more TV time then Samoa Joe…Take that in.
2.) Chavo Guerrero
I hate to bag on a Guerrero here, but honestly Chavo is done. The man’s best days are behind him. Sadly, he would have been a foot note in WCW history had his uncle not been one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, it helps I guess. TNA did the most predictable thing by pairing him up with Hernandez. DO ANYTHING ELSE, ANYTHING. Honestly. Kerwin White 2.0 would have been 100 times better then this tag team. Chavo has always been a solid worker, but I can only take so many three amigos, point to the sky, and frogsplashes anymore. We get it, you were Eddie’s nephew.
TNA has a bunch of big, useless, fucks. See Gunner. Crimson is another guy that falls under this category. Great fucking size, terrible tattoos, and horrible fucking hair. The man can’t work, he can’t talk, he shouldn’t be in a wrestling ring. I am honestly wracking my brain to find one Crimson “moment” in there………nothing.
4.) Jessie Godderz
Why? Why? Why, does this man have a steady paycheck and is on national TV every week and so many other guys toil away on the fucking Indys, get burnt out on the business and fucking leave. Why? Dude is terrible. Looks like a fucking million bucks, can’t wrestle a lick. At least the guys above him can entertain the idea of putting together a solid match, this dude is lost.
5.)King Mo, Rampage Jackson, Any other MMA guy TNA wants to bring in
Publicity stunts don’t work if no one knows who the fuck the person is. I am not the biggest MMA fan, I admit. But I know my Tito Ortiz’ and my Dan Severn’s and my Anderson Silva’s. I don’t know my King Mo’s. Granted, I do know Rampage Jackson. But does anyone in their right mind expect these guys to take this shit seriously and actually apply themselves? I find it funny that WWE doesn’t touch this shit with a ten foot pole. Don’t fucking say anything about Brock. Brock Lesnar will always be attached to WWE, more so then UFC. Don’t say anything about Shamrock. Ken Shamrock was one of the hottest names on the planet at the time, and he didn’t fight and wrestle at the same time, like these guys claim to be doing. Don’t say anything about Floyd Maywether either, dude came in for one spot. TNA needs to stop wasting money on people who don’t give a fuck about wrestling and start giving it to the guys who have bled for your company.