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Dirt Sheets Suck

Remember when Miz was half decent? The Dirt Sheet ruled.

Remember when Miz was half decent? The Dirt Sheet ruled.

Despite the awesome picture of the amazing (mostly) online show, “The Dirt Sheet” hosted by The Miz and John Morrison, we are not here to discuss this great talk show in WWE history. No joke it really was great and I don’t hear it talked about enough.

We are hear to chat about the rumor sites, the wrestling “news” sites, the dirt sheets. Although, physical dirt sheets haven’t existed since “Geocities,” and AOL Free Trial Discs, I and many others still refer to them as if they were still in physical form. So, dirt sheets it is…or the dirts if you prefer.

I am not going to discuss how the internet has pretty much ruined the business and how I honestly wish I could stay eternally 5-12 years old in my wrestling years. We are discussing the way said dirt is presented and how many dirt sheets are commonly ran now a days. And if you keep reading this article I will post a link to a picture of a circa 2000 Rey Mysterio flipping off a camera, and claim it is recent, and also claim he is flipping off WWE fans.

“This fucking guy, he obviously goes to the dirt sites, stupid dick.” That’s right…I heard that. Whether or not you said it out loud doesn’t matter. Yes. Yes, I read the dirts. That doesn’t mean I am not allowed to complain about them though. I have been actively reading wrestling dirt sheets for probably 10 or 11 years now. This is just some of the knowledge I have gathered from wrestling “journalists.”

1.)ALWAYS cite The Wrestling Observer or Dave Meltzer as your source. You can sometimes use Bryan Alvarez or a lesser known personality, but usually Meltz and the Observer are the way to go.

2.)Copy said Wrestling Observer article. Seriously, just copy and paste. The business of professional wrestling usually lacks basic integrity, so why would its “journalists.”

3.)Just make shit up. Some of it is bound to come true, right? And if it doesn’t put this little disclaimer at the end to cover your ass. “Remember plans can and do change.” See, it works.

4.)NO NEWS IS NEWS! Make sure to “report” at least 5-6 times daily that nothing new has leaked about the status of Rey Mysterio. Let everyone know that literally nothing has changed.

5.)Re post the same article 3-5 times in a week. Well, not the exact same article. Switch some words around, maybe add a sentence or something.

6.)Make sure to put your opinion into something. Because, you have a personality and we care…

7.)ALWAYS talk as if you are “in” the business. Say they ended with John Cena winning to send “the fans home happy.” YOU ARE A FUCKING FAN. You are actually uber fan number 1. You created a website solely to post about wrestling gossip. Also, call Triple H by his proper name. No, not Hunter. Paul, duh.

8.)Click bait pictures are king. The Rey Mysterio example at the beginning is actually a real thing, and yes I clicked. I am stupid. I don’t however post things that are obviously false.

Hopefully this can inspire some others to pick up the dirt sheet game, or not fuck ’em.

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